The Perfect Gardening Pants

This is the time of year when we eat too much, look back too far and, perhaps, think way too deeply. Happy New Year! And welcome to what I expect will become a foray into comfortable innovations in the garden world.
 
If I were to design a pair of pants  in which to garden, they would be a cross between sweats and jeans. They would be soft against the skin but tough enough to withstand a nick or two by semi-sharp pruners. Buttons would be replaced by Velcro, and pockets holding anything extending below the hip would be detachable. Quickly. You see, while women over a certain age might not concede to loss of flexibility, recalcitrant joints, or thickening middles, they will admit to having demanding bladders.

I don’t know about you, but when I’m busy in the garden, the last thing on my mind is going inside for a pit stop. Until that need becomes immediate. My husband knows better than to come between me and the bathroom during gardening season. He runs for safety when I rip off my gloves and hurtle toward the door yelling, “Coming through!”

The perfect pair of gardening pants would be “off-able” in an instant yet contain enough substance to protect me from thorns and branches. They’d be strong enough to stay up with the added weight of a pair of pruners and even a trowel or weeding implement, which are the only two items I’ve consistently needed at the same time at the furthest point away from my tool stash.

The perfect pair of gardening pants would have optional ankle cinchers so I can easily don a pair of boots while I’m wearing them. I wouldn’t need a pocket in the pants for knee pads, but double fabric or a tougher fabric at the knee would be a must. The Velcro closure would be adjustable at the waist so as to avoid an uncomfortable gap upon bending. And here is the biggest selling point of all for whomever designs and/or markets these women’s gardening pants. THEY SHOULD RUN AT LEAST A SIZE LARGE! That way, if we want them really baggy, we could just order our regular size, or even a size smaller if they have enough extendable perks!

By virtue of the fact that the largest consumer group consists of those born between 1946 and 1964, and that 40 percent of us are obese*, what self-respecting size female baby boomer wouldn’t want to buy a pair of gardening pants in a size down from what they normally wear? (Just sayin'...) What do you think? 


4 comments:

  1. I think you are definitely onto something. I would buy the pants you describe, several times over.

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    1. Glad to hear it Alison! Maybe I'll create a drawing board so I can go to it.

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  2. Duluth Traders offers some really good options. I use their bibs in both long and short versions. They also have shirts with good long lean- over coverage. They have been my go to place for gardening and casual travel clothes. The men in my family also like the construction of their wares. My gardening attire is still not pretty, but I can run out for supplies without a full change . The snow is about 18 inches deep here in Northeast , Ohio so the gardener is sorting catalogs, feeding birds and reading lots of good blogs.

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    1. I still have a couple of pairs of Duluth Traders shorts that I love, and I've been coveting the pants. Which styles have you tried?

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